Our first day apart, Part 2

So while I was at work all last week my mom would send me updates with pictures throughout the day. I loved that my mom did this for me and I loved seeing what he was up to without me. Here are a couple of pictures that she sent.

Playing in his swing.

Taking a nap.

Taking another nap.

E-mailing mommy at work.

...and finally being a cute little guy that he is.

Our first day apart.

So Wednesday was my first day back to work. In a weird way I was a little excited to go back but then as the time got closer that slowly faded into sadness. The day before I went back to work I just held my baby all day and we took a couple naps together. I just wanted to take it all in before I wasn’t able to do it for a while.

Wednesday morning came pretty fast after our long holiday weekend. I soon found myself dropping my little guy off at my mom’s house. As I was standing in the kitchen looking at my little guy I kept telling my mom everything she needed to know to prolong the moment when I had to leave. I think that my mom noticed that I was doing this and she said to Landon “Say bye bye to mommy”. That is when I realized that I really had to leave him and I gave him a big kiss on the cheek and turned around and headed for the door. I did surprise myself by not completely breaking down and crying the whole way to work but only getting watery eyes for a moment. The whole way to work I kept looking in the back seat for the little guy. I would then realize that he wasn’t there and then I would reassure myself that at least he is in good hands with my mom and he isn’t at a daycare where he potentially could be neglected.

Amazingly my first day wasn’t to bad at work. I think that I kept myself busy and was trying to get back in the hang of thing I didn’t have the voided time to sit and really think about him. However I couldn’t wait until 4:00 came to leave so I could go get him and give him many loves. I can’t say the something happened on Thursday and Friday. Each day it got harder and harder to leave him. By the time I pick him up after work drive home he is ready to eat and go to bed. I feel that I don’t get to play, hug, kiss, or adore my little guy. Then it is off to the same routine the next day.

I am glad that my first week back I only had to work 3 days. I now know I have the whole weekend to fill in all my voids that I am feeling. I think that Monday is actually going to be the heart breaker knowing that I have a whole week to work.

With all that said I am now in tears and I am going to post this so I can wipe those away. Hopefully it will get easier.